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i_heart_donut
Feb. 6th, 2005
11:42 am - i wait around for the still small center
hey hey what up world cheak out the new lj im_a_tbs_fake yep cuss im so dam emotacular lol new word omg new donut quote WELL ITS LOVE MAKE IT HURT and ya cheak out the new journal some time and ya peace
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apatheticJan. 29th, 2005
08:32 pm
soooooooo hows it going outside world cuss i can tell you its not going here anyway yes so life just sux don it. i cant figure out anything anymore and its horrible. cuss i still think too much i just dont get anywhere doing it . its just that i realy dont know what i think about "the note" and if i did then it keeps changing and i dont know what to do with my life at all esspiecily right now..... I JUST DONT KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE and it drives me crazzy. ive been going crazzy for some time now. and ya idk just wow no one knows any thing about me right now just like i know nothing about me right now and i wish there was an "easy button" like in all the staples commercials somthing to get ride of all the drama that is drawn to me I NEVER MADE A SCEAN and i just want it all to end i wanna run from the dam town and leave this state this whole contry and never look back. any way im gonna go die slowly bye
andy
Jan. 8th, 2005
08:15 pm
"i was scared to death of eternity" "you cant keep a secret if it never was a secret to start" "im sorry it took my so long" "were moving foward but holding our selves back and were holding on to somthing that will never come" "im not okay" "every second im without you im a mess" "i know u know everything and i KNOW YOU DIDNT MEAN IT" "to be hurt to feel lost to be left out in the dark to be kicked when youre down to feel like youve been pushed around to be on the egde of breaking down and know one is there to save you...welcome to my life" "here i go scream my lungs out try to get to you i let go BUT THERES NO ONE THAT GETS ME LIKE YOU DO you are my ONLY ONE" "if we cut out the bed then we'd have nothing left" "TAKE MY HAND TAKE MY LIFE" "we wont stand for hazy eyes anymore" "ITS TIMES LIKE THESE WHEN SILENCE MEAN EVERYTHING AND NO ONE IS TO KNOW AOBUT THIS" "TO ME IT LOOKS LIKE PRETTY BURNING" "so deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me off guard" "love is not like anything especialy a fucking knife" "im a wishful thinker with the worst intentions"
quotes of my messed life and you should all know the sotry by know cuss i live the tragedy ever night i wtach my self die and fall to sleep and everythings okay so i dont care but i care when i die in my dreams and come back to this hell
Jan. 1st, 2005
06:37 pm
hey kate ummmmm ya my mom found out and i am so sry that we rnt on the best of runs right now but that makes things worse i mean i only took it cuss i knew u wanted it and lol i let u keep the bottle and well o man i mean im in a lot of trouble now and im so pissed at everything and idk things just keep getting worse and stuff my mom is "grounding" me so ill see u monday somehow i will not go home after school go somewhere else can u met me somewhere else its just that we realy need to actuly talk and i mean ahhhhhhhh everything is so ruff right now i got into yet another fight with alex that jerk huh and my mom is still being dumb and drunkly hungover so hows life cuss now i have to go to AA horay lol write me please i need the company of any one with anything to say about times like this when u star at this empty bottle and feel nothing but regret and nothing is gonna ever get better please some1 cuss now im at me dads and life goes on worse and worse day to day night to night i fall asleep and wish to cut out my eye lids so i dont have to see my dreams anymore "well ill keep dieing and just keep crying if u want i wont stop crying" life is so dam gay and im ready to leave again i am packing my bags tommorow night with no money and no plan ill be back lol i promise ill never be okay ever
Dec. 30th, 2004
02:28 pm
hey whats up everyone last night was crazxzy huh.... i cant remember lol but um the bruise on face tells me it was fun lol. soooooo how is everyones christmas vacation im having an ok time and ya o man its not working ya no the hole growing up thing but ya no what .... "being grown up isnt half as fun a growing up these are the best days of our lives" lol well i gtg sooo have a good vaca and ya um everything is complicateed
Dec. 26th, 2004
10:06 am
hey hey hey everyone whats up i got my new skate deck ddr o and hun i got eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and the oc 1st season and i was wondering if u wanna eat over minday and watch eternal sunshine o and when r we gonna go see oceans 12 any way miss u a lot mhua so what did everyone get for christmas leave a list and o man i cant take this the second i get in my dads car he starts bitching and it doesnt stop its still going on lol its none stop on fucking christmas ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<3andy
Dec. 19th, 2004
12:41 pm
hey ppl whats up im sitting round at my cosins house so i figured id update and ya soooo 6 days till christmas lol i so wanna have a chrismakah party and some stuff like that and ya i am getting hyped for A TASTE OF CHAOS it is gonna be crazzy and ya life is crazzy and ya im board and i think everything is one big joke we are living and dieing faster every second while someelse is laughing but ya i cant stand how ppl think im over reacting and putting too much time into falling apart and if i smelt of alchohol then im sorry for the inconvinionce and if i never know what to do and how to do it right then im saying sorry for my mistakes now and im lossing somthing that means more to me then anything i had before all because its an imposiblity and for those of u who know what im saying dont say it in a response but i feel so ruined from my mistaKES and it wont stop there
Dec. 9th, 2004
09:08 pm
soooooo...... "cuss i was scared to death of eternity" "pleased dont unless this is something u mean" "
and i am o so sorry in a regretful self hated kinda of way that you wont understand in words becuase all my words have lost there strength and everything has lost its credit and there arnt word to tell you what iuve held in for soo long and i never ment to make it seem like a brag and i told of every single grl i told them that it was cuss of u and im sorry and i read you're journal and lol im righting you this soooo i just want you to know i never ment it to be like this i realy never did and i miss you so much and i hope to talk to u soon
Dec. 4th, 2004
10:11 pm
everyone has points in there lives when they dont know who they are anymore and every mourning when i wake up i dont know the person i wake up with i hate them and that person is me and its every mourning but i need this somehow i just need this i cant understand if i realy need it tho u know me i cant tell if i need it or if it's "my problem" that needs it but latly ive been more crazzy and its okay cuss i can think clearly i dont know maybe im finaly lost where ill never find my again and i will continue what i do maybe i can finaly e normal no doubt it
so ya life is grand i guess at least christmas is close right? right? okay but um ya lets just scream the last words i herd as i was thrown into the lights flooding over the crowds of faces that ment nothing in meloncoly but mine had stuck out the most the only time when i was above everyone in the center of attention and then he saw my alone in a crowded room and he touched me he actully did and he told me he loved me and holy crap adam lazzara from taking back sunday noticed me above everyone in that whole building so ya lol anyone that wants a second hand adam lazzara hug come and ask lol first one is free of charge. second hand adam lazzara fuck lol is always free even after 20 times lol
but ya try and figure me out i wish u luck cuss know one ever will its so simple and yet its not rolling off the tip of anyones tong yet so ha i dont even think it can be done but kate is the closest i guess
<3andy
07:32 pm
hey o man concert was crazzy huh everyone.... or lol just u kate. so adam lazzara told me he loves me and touched me and stuff ahhhhhhhhhhhh so crazzy. hey abby ya imma add you and hows life and hey julissa i hope u feel beter its just dammit. why did u have to do that on that night i felt such a pain of guilt i mean u were in the dam hospitlol and its all my fault why i mean o man tho i hope life starts looking better and ya hows everyone cuss i went crowd surfing during taking back sunday cute without the e and i went up and all the lights shinned on me as i flew towards my hero adam on the stage waiting and watching me come closer then i fell off cuting my back open across the floor with spilt metal and then who other then adam lazzara picked me up and talked to me ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh rok on miricles happen o man but ya coment on this
<3ANDY
Nov. 28th, 2004
11:32 am
its sunday and im going to see the incrdibles today horay but other then that nothing new i skated a lil this mourning nothing to much fun can wait to go skate the church again lol or some skate park but ya o man christmas is just around the cornor and i turn seventeen on thursday the conert is two day away 2 DAYS OMG HOLY CRAP MAN I'M FREAKING OUT o man i got it bad dam its gonna be so insain i cant waint and ya im still not positive how im getting there???? but gonna be fun and wendsday night im going out with my grandma to go shop for my b day gift and ya does anyone read these anymore? i dont even know
Nov. 27th, 2004
08:12 pm
so wow ya hows every one doing aka the two ppl that actully read my lj so ya i get the picture lol and kate ya coment some time now that ive told you the name lol all you did was wine dam you are such a blond jk jk no but ya and hey julissa um thaks for replying??? i cant stand now days o man i had a good little session with this table top i found in my trash so i skated it for about 10 minnutes before it broke lol and ya. so back on topic cant waint 3 more days till wbru's b day bash and its gonna be off the walls. but um no im so confused about life now days i mean dam nothing makes sensce when you dont even know youre self and every mourning you wake up as some one new that you know less then the last and you dont even know whats going on. jullisa i think we need to talk so ya ill call tommorow night and if u read this then reply asap okay
any way ill probly write again tommorow so ya
-andy
Nov. 21st, 2004
10:29 am
haha a few mintues latter ill make another entry lol every one should cheak out straylight runs cd they are such a mix of brand new and tbs its crazzy john and michell are incredible and i get to see them live i cant wait lol. but yes hows everyone doing and im sry about my four hours at the mall i realy did fall asleep and forgot to cheak the time and "the tension and the terror" is an awsome song and i wish my life could have been diffrent and know im fighting my self on somthing new and my coices being few im punching my teeth out all night wishing im wishing and wishing i could pass this fight off and my chioce would be made no one knows me no one understands me exept her
andy
10:22 am
hey everyone its sunday and im sitting around doing nothing and just looking back im so messed up o man the cops told my mom if it stays like this that im going to an institution horray ya no i get to go stay with crazzy ppl and ya. sitting here listening to straylight run and if u guys like them deffinatly go vist there web sit www.straylightrun.com sick site but ya im so gonna freakout someday lol and ya i dont have a car anymore which kinda sux sry if i made plans with ppl and i cant keep them know and shit o man i wana just arg so ya talk to every one latta and i might go see spong bob the movie with grace horay
Nov. 14th, 2004
02:46 pm
just one hell of a long day over here in norwell with my father. lil grace is cute but other then that a boring day. i miss julissa and taco and donut lol. o ya taco memba what i said id cry about.... yep it happened the next day arg.lol donut is gonna be lonly haha. so ya how bought them dumpsters by the mall they are so scetch. cant wait to go to wbru's 35 birthday bash cuss I GOT IT BAD,and YOU WILL KILL FOR THIS JUST A LIL BIT i just cant wait anylong and TRUST ME im gonna love it cuss right now IM NOT OKAY i mean SOME POSTMAN IS GONNA CRY and i just want to LET IT BLEED cus WERE NOT LISTENING ANYWAY. o man taking back sunday the used my chemical romance straylight run the american presidents gonna be crazzy. julissa is coming im gonna freak im so happy im with her. its just what i need right now and ya. sry taco lol. but ya ill be home tonight so call up my phone. dont have any home work lol. no one would let me stay in school haha.